Where's the Applause?
I am human.
Even so, to me, it is the most incomprehensible concept.
Yes, I’m referring to us, human beings.
Isn’t it funny how we are what it is, but we can never fully understand how we got here, this time and place.
We never know how these feelings work and why they’re there.
What do we live for?
We reach a certain age, and feel like it’s the perfect time to decide our very own purpose. The purpose of existing. How we love, what we do, and who we surround ourselves with. But then lies the hardest question, one you can rarely give a concrete answer to: Why.
I don’t play God.
But sometimes, I want to walk in other’s shoes so bad, I get overwhelmed with the idea. I get so curious about how they feel.
But other times, I can’t even justify my own thoughts.
I can’t tell if I would like to figure out more about my feelings than theirs or vice versa.
Because I can’t tell if it’s me against the universe, or is the content of this universe too diverse, that I appear to be just another unique speck of dust that isn’t the only one with such feelings and wonders.
Sometimes I get mad at myself. I feel so left out, not able to think and feel the way majority in our society does. It might not sound like a big deal, but when it happens recurringly, it gets to you every moment.
For instance, you genuinely give with all good intentions but end up not being appreciated. And then you wonder, what was so wrong about giving? Or did I just choose the wrong moment to give? And of course, any right mind wouldn’t make a sense out of those questions. But that could be an impact of a simple, overlooked response.
The same idea could go with any other good deeds. But why do you expect so much back? It doesn’t have to be because you’re hoping for something in return, in material. It isn’t exactly because you want to hear an applause. And it shouldn’t be because you seek for attention. It is probably just expectation’s doing. One of human’s biggest struggle. You don’t choose what to expect. You don’t even get to choose to not expect. I have written about expectation before, but I guess this.. is more about the different ways people think that lead us to those expectations.
Just because we feel one way doesn’t mean others feel the same, no matter how illogical it may seem. Just because we have an opinion on one thing, doesn’t mean others would have the same perspective you do. Even times when people actually feel and think the way you do, won’t exactly mean they will do the same things you would. They just don’t. I’m not going to tell you to not expect, because once again, we’re human and that is just one of the many struggles we’re stuck with. I can only tell you to try to remember that people will only feel and think differently.
I don’t play God, but if anybody could, I’m sure they’d play by making people feel the way they think they should feel. Which would lead them to do what others would want them to do. And that is when chaos happens.
Good day. Keep giving.