Saturday, March 28, 2009

It was a Tuesday morning. My mom was still in Surabaya. I wasn't fully willing to go to school, cause as always, this head stays as a sleephead, but at 6 am, I arrived at school. Half an hour later the daily melody played (no it wasn't a bell) and first block started; biology. The teacher didn't come to class to teach, but to leave. She gave the class an assignment, which kinda meant free time. So I was sitting there on my stool, wishing my seagreen cardigan were thicker, and didn't dare to move to do the assignment, yet. But I thought if i got it done fast, than i could take little nap after. So I got out a piece of paper and was about to start, but I realized I didn't know exactly what I was supposed to do. I found others waiting for the smart kiddos to finish, so that they'll look at those and copy. So I thought I might as well do the same. Hell no I was in no mood.

Soooo as I was waiting, I checked my phone, 2 missed calls from Daddy. This past week I was always frightened to open messages or to pick up calls from a family member. I wanted to avoid receiving the bad news. Anyway, 2 calls from Dad? It must be some important thing. So I texted him and asked why he called.
My phone vibrated. And I opened the message. There.. The bad news I've been unwantingly expected. I couldn't bear to read it more than once. It said that my Grandma (mom's mom) died, and that my dad's going to Surabaya.
Why, could I stand being at school the whole day ? Hell no... I wanted to come too. I've been wanting to go there and meet my grandma. She'd been in the hospital for over a week, and it didn't sound like she was gonna get any better. So I thought I wanted to see her just one last time before she goes. And now look, I wasn't able to do that. That's the saddest part.
My dad says if I wanted to go with, I had to take a taxi home. So I did. Once I got home, I only had time to change, and all my bags were already packed by my sister. So then my dad, my sisters and I took off.

Once we reached Surabaya we took a taxi to my Grandparents'. We were told to go inside the house right away, before getting to do anything else. In the living room, I saw the body. I stepped closer and saw her face, right at that point I felt myself the weakest. I dropped myself and kneeled beside her and burst into tears. I couldn't believe that it was HER laying in front of me. I never got to say goodbye, I never got to say I loved her back enough, oh how I wished I could wake her up. Memories of her flashed through my mind like lightning, just all the things I could remember right that moment. I hurts, yes still hurts as I write this. I've cried when she was still tied to bed in 3 different hospitals, suffering from pain. And now? I still can't believe the worst just happened. Still crying beside her, I held my dad's arm as tight as ever. And they started carrying her to the cemetery, ready for burial. And yes, I had to watch the whole process. It was the first time for me, ever. And in that next moment, I still couldn't believe that it's that dear loving grandmother of mine, who passed away, or at that time, being burried. I spent 3 days in Surabaya. And for the rest of my time there, everytime I start the day, I ask myself again why I was there, and each time I answer myself, I still couldn't believe it. Any of it. But I knew I wasn't dreaming, the things that happened before me were all a part of reality.

Eyang Ti, so I call my grandma, couldn't be anymore caring and loving to all her grandchildren. She was a big lady, if you see what I mean, and she was really huggable to me when I was a little kid. I only come to Surabaya once a year.. well maybe twice.. and everytime I go there my allergies takes over. And she'd give me my medicine, such as eyedrops, weird eardrops and all those weird things. The last couple years she had started walking with a cane, and even so.. everytime I come to her place, she'd generously make food for me, and no, I didn't ask for it.

When my mom calls her from Jakarta, I'd talk to her too. She'd always alwaaays give me advice. She'd always tell me to do good in school, to stay healthy, and my favorite was.. to reach all my academic dreams, and she'd say she knows that I'd get into any major I wanted. When she says things like that, whatever it is I wanted always came true; getting into the highschool I wanted, getting into IPA and a lot more. When I heard her say that right after any pessimistic thoughts I got, I'd feel so positive in anything I was doing, even when it seemed so impossible to me before. But now the most supportive person I've ever known isn't there anymore. Just how broken it makes me feel. Oh yea, even on her birthday, when my mom called. I was supposed to be the one wishing her all the good things, to get well soon and all (I did). But she took over most of the time on the line to wish me the usual things she'd wish on a normal phone call. That just showed how much she really cared, and I feel like I couldn't show as much care and love as I was supposed to.

But thinking positively, this might be better for her, and she might deserve all this, instead of laying in bed with all kinds of illness for yeaaarrss. She can smile til forever now :)

I'll always pray for you grandma, I love you, I'm sorry I never got to show that as much as you've showed me. A fling of regret hits me, but as they say.. regrets in cases like these are useless and meaningless. Rest in peace, Yang! :')

I Saw Warmth Through Those Wrinkles
3/28/2009 02:37:00 PM

I Saw Warmth Through Those Wrinkles

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Have you ever thought about..
the craziest fads, perhaps? 

Flagpole SittingThis fad became a popular spectator sport. It was started by a pro stuntman who eventually set the world record at 49 days.Pez
- In 1927, Eduard Haas, an Austrian candy executive, developed a small candy mint which he called PEZ (short for pfefferminz, the German word for peppermint). The peppermint candies were stored in a small tin and sold fairly well for more than 20 years. Initially it was marketed as a tasty alternative to cigarettes for adults attempting to quit smoking.

More than 3 billion PEZ candies are consumed each year and is sold in more than 60 countries around the world but the candies have become almost a secondary item serving as an accessory for the dispensers of which more than 300 have been issued.

Johnny on a Pony
A game played outdoor with multiple participants, also known as buck buck. Over the years the rules might have slightly changed but the concept is still the same.
...Or also known as.. "Kuda Tomplok?" haha

Swallowing Goldfish - A fad that was very popular among college students and drew crowds of spectators who wanted to witness this.Bubble Gum Cigars
Gum shaped to look like cigars (some even had a pink tip, to look like they were lit).

Tie Dye T-shirts- Nothing said 'psychedelia' better than the rainbow explosion of swirling colors and bold designs of the ancient art of tie-dye.Granny Glasses
Was once a fashion statement of vibrant youth, also known as Ben Franklin glasses. First appeared in the 60's in California. Adorned by such famous faces as John Lennon and Roger McGuinn. Within about 2 years from its beginning, the granny glasses had soon died out, and became undecidedly cool.

Smiley faces
Started in 1963 by creator H.R. Ball. He was working in Massachusetts for an ad agency when one of his clientele asked him to come up with a way to soothe employees. He was only paid $45 for the drawing, which he never trademarked. The Smiley Face has appeared on millions of items since, including a United States postage stamp.

Mood Rings
The famous black oval ring that changed colors when the mood of the person changed. As the moods of society changed, someone thought we needed a way to monitor this change. Tada - the birth of the mood ring.

These wide-legged pants were derived from Navy styled uniforms and became very popular with the young society in the 1960's. Elvis Presley, Sonny and Cher helped make bellbottoms a fashion statement for the hippies and counter-culture audience. They were typically made of denim until they were produced with corduroy and polyester so they could be worn in any situation. Bellbottoms were still popular in the 1970's during the disco years and even in the 1990's when the Gen X crowd was wearing them to be cool too.

Streaking- The craze of taking off all clothes and running across the field at major sporting events.


The use of the word "NOT!" was spoken in exclamation. For example:

Bob: Hey Mike, do you like my new Vans shoes?
Mike: Yes, they are totally rad!.
Bob: Reall
Mike: Not!

Care Bears

Colorful, adorable, furry friends with a caring mission. These cute bears taught us how to care. Every bear came with a bright colored tummy picture that told who they were and what their special area of caring was.

Hyper-Color Shirts

No images

These were shirts that changed color with temperature change.

This word was used very often during the 80's. It was used as another way to tell someone you were just kidding or pulling their leg about something. For example:
Larry: Hey Bob, who did you buy that ice cream for?
Bob: I bought it for you.
Larry: Really??
Bob: PSYCHE!! ...I bought it for me!

Friendship Bracelets
Friendship bracelets came in bright colors, vibrant woven patterns, beautiful glass beadwork and NFL football team names and colors. Still love 'em these days, don't you? I do.. makin' em is quite something to do when yer bored.

Slap Bracelets

A flexible metal with a colorful cloth over it. You would smack these on your wrist and it would wr
ap around it.

Gigapets / Tomogatchi

Very popular little electronic device that needed to be feed and cared for. If not then it would die. Kids used to carry them around everywhere they went.

Push Pops
Lollypops that would be in almost a lipstick tube type container you would push at the bottom to get the lollypop to get out of the tube. This pushing in the tube made your finger all sticky. - still love em
The Macarena

During the 90's you couldn't turn on the tv, radio or go to parties without hearing this song. People would dance The Macarena to the song made popular by Los Del Rio.

Beanie Babies

As one of the most popular, endearing and widespread fads of the last 25 years, one would imagine that Beanie Babies must have some type of unique and incredible attributes. Instead, they are simply small, inexpensively priced, stuffed animals with a tag stating the animal's name and birth date. Despite logic, the stuffed animals created an almost cutthroat collecting frenzy, which inadvertently spawned magazines, websites and fan clubs. UHUH, they're totally cute, I've always wanted the hippo and 
the unicorn!

Online Slang In Speech

People have started to use internet lingo in their everyday speech. For example instead of saying "Oh My Gosh!" They would instead say "OMG" or "BRB" instead of "Be Right Back". C'mon! You know 'em..

American Idol
A smash hit reality series on FOX in which contestants tryout to be the next superstar singing sensation. After the blowout first season captured a massive audience and produced pop singer Kelly Clarkson, now thousands tryout and millions watch at home. Many call in and vote near the end of the series. It is a popular tv show that is interactive and viewers get to choose the next superstar.

Fantasy Leagues
Sports fans all around the nation are taking part in the hottest new craze. Its called Fantasy Leagues. Whether you prefer hockey, footbal, or baseball there is a league for you somewhere. You can join a public league or a private league with your friends. The object is to draft players and creating a starting lineup (daily or weekly) then you get points based on how your drafted players do in the real professional sport. You can play rotisserie or head to head. You can trade players, sign free agents, or drop players, your the manager of your own team. Thanks to popularity, televised sports games now have stat trackers during games and at halftime.

mp3's / mp3 players (iPod)Thanks to filesharing and online music stores such as iTunes, people are now uploading all their music to their MP3 players instead of carrying around cassettes or cd's. Most mp3 players can hold several hours of music. Haha so.. doh.

Napolean Dynamite
In 2004, this hit movie caused a cult following. DVD sales for this flick were astounding! In early 2005, the search term 'Napolean Dynamite' was a top phrase searched for according to Yahoo! Youngsters were wearing T-Shirts that read, "Vote For Pedro". There has even been talk about a sequel to this movie, or perhaps a prequel.

Anything you might want to add? Can't wait to see what fads are in the next century... Flying scooters to avoid traffic jams? Hmm.. or maybe people would start to sell Money Tree seeds? Maybe you'll start a new fad yourself. Spit some ideas on me.

3/22/2009 06:17:00 PM


Thursday, March 5, 2009

Trying to be wise
But instead I caught up with lies
The thought became melting ice
Still, can't be bought with such a price
Why is it always so hard for me
Yet others posses it easily

I whine I cry I sweat
Yet they don't give on how I felt
Again why don't they have to try hard
To gain such and various awards
All along patience waited on the edge
But soon I must pass on my own pledge

So I have to think it over
Gradually letting in the chance remover
Cause I might not want it that bad
From what I've been through and what I had
It's the same pattern, same old scene
So I probably ain't so keen
And just watch it
Is it worth it?
I'm much better than that
I know.
It's just another guilt, fakely intoxicating

...I smile as I read what I was stating :)
A Slight Rush in Mind
3/05/2009 09:36:00 PM

A Slight Rush in Mind