Thursday, April 8, 2010

Often times, I come accross names that strike me and get me to think. Could be on facebook, on my messenger’s contact list, and anywhere else you name it. And what just might that thought be?
I would find myself thinking,..
Man how are they doing?
I used to sleepover at her house so often. We used to hang out together. We used to fight over silly things then make up and laugh about it. We used to talk about the universe all through the night. She was the one who dyed my hair red, and made me smile, knowing no one could’ve done it better. We used to like the same guy, but stayed as best friends. They were the ones who I always go to my favorite park with. I used to have a little crush on him, and he secretly did too, we fought a lot and would always regret it afterwards. We used to send each other letters & postcards without considering the distance between us. He used to tell me all his problems, his love life, and had always come to me to ask for encouragements and solutions. He was the one who would listen to me and give me encouragements and solutions, and that would always be there when I needed company. They were the ones who would cry with me and laugh along with me. She used to phone me everyday and talk about anything at all. They used to put their arms around me and said ‘You are my best friend.. forever’.
Surely, the list will go on forever.
It’s so sad that they’re all only used to’s.
And what sentence would most likely come after that?
But now…
But that was before…
But then…
But it was because of…
But we were young…

Some of them might have stayed ‘the same’ like as your best friend for instance. Well according to my experience, the tag would remain.. but in reality, they do change, how they’re behavior gradually changes, how they treat you would slightly change. Perhaps some of you don’t notice it, some pretend they don’t feel or see the changes for the sake of how bad you want to keep their position as how it is, and some might see it in an obvious way and start to frown and begin to reminisce what you had.

The most common thing that causes the changes to relationships is separation. And the causes of separation are time, distance, and new environment & influences.
I hate having to start over again. Once there’s separation, that would mean I have a new place to adapt to and hang tough to find new people to replace the ones I had, even though I know there wouldn’t be any to suit as such replacements. It is a sad thing knowing I will be going through that (for the umth-time in my life) any time soon while I also know the unborn group of friends of mine will have to part some time in the end. Then you’ll watch the same cycle spin around you all over again.

So you find precious friends, and they end up being not as precious in the end. You call them your best friend. Then you will call someone new a ‘best friend’ in the future. In formal English, or any other language apparently, there are no such things as two ‘best’s.. there’s only best and second best. As I have mentioned, you might name them your best friend forever, but as you create distance, you will eventually change the reality and the actual meaning of the position as so-you-call your bestfriend.

But there’s nothing wrong with still hoping your current favorite people will stay as they are and will stil do their duties as your best friend. That’s okay, it comes naturally I guess.
These days, I’ve been looking at the faces whom I see everyday and who are always on my side. After a talk, a laugh, or just warm silence, I would stare into their eyes, glance at their faces and wonder if they’d do or be the same as the friends I had in my past. Will they change that much? Then I would stare into their eyes and beg in mind for them not to change and that we could have that moment we’re having again in the future. Meanwhile, I must keep in mind to enjoy every moment and avoid complaining however shitty things get. I’ve been complaining a lot lately, please do remind me to cut it out.

Time can be evil.

There's No Such Thing as Best
4/08/2010 07:05:00 PM

There's No Such Thing as Best

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Oh yes.... finally all the freakin' things that have been taking my life away from me are (almost) done. All there is for me to do is wait for a couple of announcements and the school final exam. Now I can sigh my lung out! Anyway, I haven't been posting since forever, but if any of you follow my tumblr, you can see that I've been updating it more often than this blog right here (although most of them are just reblogs). Maybe I'd still come back once in a while to write my deep thoughts here. But really, since I've just stepped out of my monotone days, there's no story to share. Well, we'll have to see what comes ahead of me. I'll be in college in a couple of months, and I'll be moving to Bandung. That should make it quite a new adventure, ey?

I was thinking that a touch of random colors would be nice to celebrate my comeback ;)

Back On the Ground
4/03/2010 10:11:00 PM

Back On the Ground