Harsh New World

Experience

You might have guessed it already: I've never been this busy my darn whole life! I had moved to Bandung and have stayed here for almost a month already. It feels like at least 3 months has gone by though. There's always at least one day in a week where I miss home, family, and high school buddies like hell. My new friends are my new family here. We eat together, we work on our assignments together, we count on each other for favours, and so on. But seriously, what would I be now without these new friends. But nothing beats your family at home. I miss Mom, Dad, Kania, and Sesha -- though my sisters might not miss me as much haha, but frankly.. I miss having their presence at home, even though I used to not interact with them that often anyway. They just simply give you the 'homey' vibe.

At first, I think I got pretty stressed out. I wasn't sleeping for 2 nights in a row, and this happens every week. Still going on, actually. I had to get used to it. So once in a short while, we'd just have to run from reality (assignments) and go out, take pictures or whatever. But in hours, we'd meet again to work on our assignments together. I tell you, however you need, or want sleep, you'd have to sacrifice that desire and FINISH your work. It's killing me, really. I've lost 4kg of weight.. not to mention the fasting. I felt like I was lifeless. I live just to stay awake every night, staring at rulers and it's millimeters, A3 and A2 papers, rapido pens, and pencils with different sized leads. Gah. Never in my life, had one millimeter been so important. I could redo the whole assignment if I drew a line a meter less than how long it should've been. No mercy. Deal with it. So far, I haven't done any assignment on my own. I'd always go to a friend's and work on it together. I don't think I can do any by myself. I mean.. it's the company that keeps you awake, although we'd be working on it on or own anyway once we meet at one place.

I'm (working on) getting used to all this. Try to make it seem as fun as possible. Because I could say that all we do for college is basically just.. draw. But the part that sucks is you'll never (easily) get any compliments for your work. It's almost impossible to get an A, for me. However neat or good enough you think you've done, there would always be someone better. But those people would get critiques as well. Artists or anyone who creates need compliments every once in a while for motivation and inspiration. Not just critiques for motivation, if you get it all the time it would just destruct you instead. What I mean is, sometimes the sacred hours of sleep I sacrificed isn't worth it. It could hurt.

Oh and about 2 weeks ago was my 18th birthday. Worst birthday ever. The assignments ruined my day. It didn't feel like my birthday. It didn't feel like a special day at all. And this time, I didn't have my parents beside me. Sad. Can I have a second 18th? :(

Okay, holidays. I'm going home in 3 daaaays! Something to absolutely (supposedly) be looking forward to. It's just that... we're still given a darn whole huge piles of assignments to take home. Okay millimeters, we'll still be meeting in Jakarta. Just great. I'm tired (already). But this, is stil going for at least 4 more years, darling. Wish me all the luck you can give. Seriously, this time.

~pictures might come up soon. just maybe. if i ever find another free time.