I believe this is pretty much my first piece of acrylic painting done on canvas. Not done with paintbrush for the most part of the swan.
Trumpet of the Swan
5/21/2010 07:37:00 PM
Friday, May 21, 2010
I believe this is pretty much my first piece of acrylic painting done on canvas. Not done with paintbrush for the most part of the swan.
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Have I mentioned? I officially graduated from highschool! Well technically.. the graduation ceremony is all that's left. Average score's 8 point something. Physics ruins it all. Could've gotten a better total score.. but HEY I swear i did it with honesty. And when I look back, gee I must say how frightened I was because I thought I didn't do all that well in physics.
Honestly, screw me for running out of inspiration to write, and my lack of vocabulary usage. My posts might start to bore you. I was skimming through my older posts. I conclude that this blog is mostly about how I feel about the world and the things around me. Again, about how I feel about them, not about them. So it's never meant to attract people to read it. But of course, it'd feel good to know that someone else in this world could feel the same way I do about those things I write about, and if they could simply give me solutions to my complaints. Comments do delight me. But hey I don't expect them much. Just like twitter. I don't tweet to get replies and RT'S (unless a twit is actually addressed to someone specific). I don't tweet to get attention. I tweet to practically express thoughts and feelings. Well not like anybody else actually does the opposite. haha.
Anyhow... stickin' to the topic. Since I'm leaving highschool, I thought it'd be a treat to this blog if I write what my highschool years mean to me. No, not gonna go through all the drama. Let's put it this way.. hmm how about I list what the past 3 years have taught me. According to me, from my point of view. Damn I learned a lot! It woke me up and told me that I'm actually living. Don't read this list. A reminder before the ride: this is one of the posts that will bore you (like anyone would read this). This is a note to myself. A reminder for the near future, so I don't forget I opened all the shut windows............ in high school.
1. I learned that you will eventually get the best friends there are, over time. No matter how lonely you started out. Did you really think it was impossible to talk to them? ha. ha. Or maybe you're the one laughing at them now. (haha nothing particular.. )
2. I learned to willingly go through the obstacles while keeping in mind that soon all of it will end and the next thing i know is that i've gone through that... with pride and you could say with ease after all.
3. I learned that no obstacle is too hard to overcome.
4. Oh, don't forget this. I learn to agree on this quote "beginnings are scary, endings are usually sad, but it's what's in the middle that counts. So if you find yourself at the beginning, just give hope a chance to float up, and it will" I think this might be quote of the year. Or a good one to hold on to throughout HS.
5. I learned that the friendship kind of love could make you just as jealous, just as vulnerable, just as secure, just as happy as love love. But it's always the most worth fighting for.
6. I learned that being a best friend means so much more than having a best friend. It feels so much greater than having a friend.
7. I learned to take those public transportation (haha). The Bajaj, Metromini, Busway. But the angkot is just average already.
8. I learned to respect different kinds of music. And other tastes too I guess.
9. I learned that EVERYTHING has a purpose. All that's happened to you, all that's.... there. Good or bad.
10. I learned that it really is true how they say that no dream is impossible!
11. I learned that honesty, confidence, positivity, endeavor, and getting close to God will all equal to success followed by pride. Oh yes, honey.. must have them all together to make that dream reachable. Still unreachable? Then believe in fate. Keep lookin' for other ways to get there! (okay, some of you may question the honesty part.. but i said with pride)
12. I learned that rejections, exclusion and fights don't always create gaps, in fact they can actually build up better relationships and fix those bad people. They could lead to an advantage.
13. I learned that those people in movies are certainly derived from real life. Those absolute bookworms, those geniuses, those nerds who get bullied, those backstabbers, those brave liars, those kleptos, giving average examples here, but you know what I mean, I used to come across better ones.
14. I learned that just because a person seems to be more successful then you are doesn't mean they're smarter than you, and the so goes the other way around, just because they seem to be more clever doesn't mean that they have more possibilities to succeed.
15. I learned that money is valuable, and hard to earn.
16. I learned that people around me do change. Just be prepared for the new influence and what might effect you.. while they could change anytime and drastically. What may seem I'm the only one that doesn't change and watching them change. I realize I change too.. it's just that I don't go along with their changes, the ends just don't meet.
17. I learned to forgive. No use after all, jibbering about others' fault, as long as they got over it and don't repeat, and... don't bug you anymore.
18. I learned anything (like things in movies) could happen to anyone, anytime, unexpectedly. Car accidents, failure, rejection, ...death.
19. I learned to believe that whatever you fear most has no power over you, it is the fear that has the power.
20. I learned to let go of the past and bad things that had happened. Loss, good times, goodbyes, any other kinds of problems.
21. I definitely learned that academic achievement is the best kind of joy!
22. I learned that when you have no one left to to turn to.. there's always God. Don't let him be the last to lean on, when you know he's always there for you!
23. I learned to plan things ahead of me rather than spontaneously wait to find treats along the road. Trust me, this makes things a lot easier. Get organized, dude!
24. I learned how most things you learned in elementary are all too standard and covered up with lies. They've just started to actually teach you things in high school. Seriously. Or.. back then they just tell you that things happen. But in highschool they tell you how things happen, how they work. Isn't that what we all need to know? I mean who needs to know that things happen or exist? We can simply SEE things, but all we want to know is why and how. You'll realize that they just made a fool of you in elementary. No, don't say 'gee.. that's okay we were just kids, we deserved that' . Nope, won't take it.
25. I learned to persevere... and survive a whole day studying and get over with the weariness. I kept saying 'oh i can make it.. 2 more hours until i get home!' and it was 9 pm. I got used to staying up late. That's why I'm friends with these dark undereyes. Practice for Arch school. yeah, that's what they tell me
******
ahh I'm too tired. you know there's more. I'll continue tomorrow. Ain't saving this as a draft, I'd like to publish it as it is. 'll update it sometime soon. night.
List of..
5/08/2010 08:39:00 PM
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Often times, I come accross names that strike me and get me to think. Could be on facebook, on my messenger’s contact list, and anywhere else you name it. And what just might that thought be?
I would find myself thinking,..
Man how are they doing?
Man how are they doing?
I used to sleepover at her house so often. We used to hang out together. We used to fight over silly things then make up and laugh about it. We used to talk about the universe all through the night. She was the one who dyed my hair red, and made me smile, knowing no one could’ve done it better. We used to like the same guy, but stayed as best friends. They were the ones who I always go to my favorite park with. I used to have a little crush on him, and he secretly did too, we fought a lot and would always regret it afterwards. We used to send each other letters & postcards without considering the distance between us. He used to tell me all his problems, his love life, and had always come to me to ask for encouragements and solutions. He was the one who would listen to me and give me encouragements and solutions, and that would always be there when I needed company. They were the ones who would cry with me and laugh along with me. She used to phone me everyday and talk about anything at all. They used to put their arms around me and said ‘You are my best friend.. forever’.
Surely, the list will go on forever.
It’s so sad that they’re all only used to’s.And what sentence would most likely come after that?
But now…
But that was before…
But then…
But it was because of…
But we were young…
Some of them might have stayed ‘the same’ like as your best friend for instance. Well according to my experience, the tag would remain.. but in reality, they do change, how they’re behavior gradually changes, how they treat you would slightly change. Perhaps some of you don’t notice it, some pretend they don’t feel or see the changes for the sake of how bad you want to keep their position as how it is, and some might see it in an obvious way and start to frown and begin to reminisce what you had.
The most common thing that causes the changes to relationships is separation. And the causes of separation are time, distance, and new environment & influences.
I hate having to start over again. Once there’s separation, that would mean I have a new place to adapt to and hang tough to find new people to replace the ones I had, even though I know there wouldn’t be any to suit as such replacements. It is a sad thing knowing I will be going through that (for the umth-time in my life) any time soon while I also know the unborn group of friends of mine will have to part some time in the end. Then you’ll watch the same cycle spin around you all over again.
So you find precious friends, and they end up being not as precious in the end. You call them your best friend. Then you will call someone new a ‘best friend’ in the future. In formal English, or any other language apparently, there are no such things as two ‘best’s.. there’s only best and second best. As I have mentioned, you might name them your best friend forever, but as you create distance, you will eventually change the reality and the actual meaning of the position as so-you-call your bestfriend.
But there’s nothing wrong with still hoping your current favorite people will stay as they are and will stil do their duties as your best friend. That’s okay, it comes naturally I guess.
These days, I’ve been looking at the faces whom I see everyday and who are always on my side. After a talk, a laugh, or just warm silence, I would stare into their eyes, glance at their faces and wonder if they’d do or be the same as the friends I had in my past. Will they change that much? Then I would stare into their eyes and beg in mind for them not to change and that we could have that moment we’re having again in the future. Meanwhile, I must keep in mind to enjoy every moment and avoid complaining however shitty things get. I’ve been complaining a lot lately, please do remind me to cut it out.
Time can be evil.
There's No Such Thing as Best
4/08/2010 07:05:00 PM
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Oh yes.... finally all the freakin' things that have been taking my life away from me are (almost) done. All there is for me to do is wait for a couple of announcements and the school final exam. Now I can sigh my lung out! Anyway, I haven't been posting since forever, but if any of you follow my tumblr, you can see that I've been updating it more often than this blog right here (although most of them are just reblogs). Maybe I'd still come back once in a while to write my deep thoughts here. But really, since I've just stepped out of my monotone days, there's no story to share. Well, we'll have to see what comes ahead of me. I'll be in college in a couple of months, and I'll be moving to Bandung. That should make it quite a new adventure, ey?
I was thinking that a touch of random colors would be nice to celebrate my comeback ;)
Back On the Ground
4/03/2010 10:11:00 PM
